Hey guys! I know it’s been forever and a year or so since I’ve written. Life kinda grabbed my attention for awhile. For those who don’t know as Teres previously pointed out, I was in Colorado on vacation for 10 or so days. So yeah, been busy. However, enough about me! Onto FAIL PUGS!!

It’s Saturday evening and what to do what to do… Doc has just finished helping me fix my blackberry and we’re bored. So we decide to pug. Great.Choice. We begin the evening with a ‘quick’ ToC run – or so we think. After Jousting for 45 mins, we finally are able to move on and actually defeat the boss.

The real fun was when we queued and got Pit… I groaned as I dislike tanking that place unless I’m certain I have a good healer who can heal through my failures. Yes, my failures. I note that we have a pally healer and feel an apparent false sense of security. I s’pose that is because I’m used to Amaneyn healing with his Enormous E-Peen™. The story goes a little like this:

After sneaking around the optional trash and being sure that the party is present, Evanstar charges at the first giant skeleton thingie… it dies so she quickly hops down and begins tanking the second two skeletion thingies when unfortunately the pat gets pulled.

Evanstar: Doc, hop down here or MD those things to me…

Doc: does something that gets them to me

Evanstar: okay mobs are dead except for the caster… we have a DK, why does he not just grip him down here… *evanstar continues to take magic hits from the caster while the dk and the rogue try to jump back up onto the ledge*

Evanstar: are they new here?

Finally the caster runs out of mana 25 minutes later and decides to hit Evanstar with his stick… and finally we are able to kill it. Rogue and DK hop over the cliff and avoid the dragon nicely, Doc runs afk for his kids, Pally yells… Hai guise! Wait!

3 mins later…

Doc returns, the DK and rogue are starting to fraternize with the slaves and I’m tabbed out feeding my pets in Happy Pets. I see to the left of my browser this note from the pally.

“Ok guise! I’m RDY!!!”

I tab back in and watch as he flails off the edge of the cliff… right onto the dragon. And in a heroic attempt to save his stupid ass I fly off after him switching forms mid-air. Quite majestic, really. But alas, he was too squishy, and I too late.

*smoosh*

I attempt to tank the mobs while our dps wails on them… after blowing all of my cooldowns, I die… the dk dies… the rogue dies. Doc kills the dragon and it’s rider and lives. Great. So, I laugh it off and we continue. I ask the group, somewhat sarcastically if we are all present and accounted for – to which I got a giggle, and a yes from the pally healer. I check my rage and as I glance up to target the next mob, I see that the DK has run ahead and pulled for me.

Nice.

So, I say to the group, again somewhat sarcastically:

Evanstar: Oh! I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize the DK was tanking this.

Group: No response

Evanstar: Really, I can quick change specs… go tree? Maybe that will make it a little easier on the healer?

Group: No response

Doc (onvent): These people are going to think you are a bitch.

Me (on vent): *laughing* These people are fucking retarded.

Evanstar: Okay… *runs up and grabs the mobs off the DK before the pally dies – again*

We manage to skip the skeleton thingie on the side with the slaves (with this group, I’m quite surprised) and up to Forgemaster Garfrost. Everyone has mana and states that they are ready so I charge on in!

We’re fighting, we’re fighting, we’re hiding behind saronite, we’re figh… *pally dies*, *shaman dies*, *rogue dies*, *doc? dies?*

Doc (on vent): Go bear, go!!

Me (on vent): WTF?!!! You guys are dead! *looks at boss’s health* No way do I got this…

*Evanstar dies*

Everyone runs back

Doc: So yeah, watch your stacks guys… don’t forget to get behind the saronite.

Take 2:

Evie charges in… we’re fighting, we’re fighting, we’re hiding behind some saronite, we’re fighting some more… Pally dies – again. Boss drops (thank god).

Me (on vent): Wow that pally is epic. *laughing*

By some act of God, we manage to get to the second boss without the Pally dying. However as we manage to get the boss near death… the pally dies. Poor doc is listening to me crack up on vent that this pug healer is SO bad, you can’t be mad because it is just that funny.

We actually manage through the entire gauntlet without the pally dying, and I think he even lived on the last boss. I was surprised – and said so to the group. Doc told them that he thought I may be drunk… I think I embarrassed him because I was being very sarcastic and rude – however, not as rude and mean as some that I have grouped with.

Anyway, that pug was just too good to not tell you all about. And by good, I mean bad.

<3

I stole your hat because my head was cold.